Why running short-distance is as exciting as dating a 19 year-old girl

Since several months, there is a lot of excitement about short-distance races. 5K or 1 mile distances: runners seem to be excited about these short shakeout. Even running websites join the general excitement and declare short-distance as “freaking awesome”. Short-distance races seems to be the new trend.

As a stupid french contrarian and trail-enthusiast, I do not understand this new trend and what makes short-distances races so appealing. In fact, after thinking about it, it appears that short races sounds like dating young girl. But as racing, dating can also have it lot of issues (as shown in the following picture). There are a few reasons.

Common issue during a race or a date
Common issue during a race or a date

 

You do not go outside your comfort zone

As dating a 19 year old girl, running a 5K is easy. You have no time to feel any exhaustion or real effort, this is just too easy.

Do not be stupid, go for a race when you will experience and face a real challenge.

comfortzone

 

This is so quick that you have to do several of them

As dating a 19 years-old girl, running a 5K is quick. No matter if you are an experienced runner or not, you are done within a few minutes. It is so quick that you are trying several of them.

Do not be stupid, go for longer races and sign up for at least a half marathon.

waitfinishline

 

The return on investment is just not worth it

As dating a 19 years-old girl, running a 5K is expensive, especially when you consider how long it last. At first, it seems to be cheap: you are paying $20 for going on a race. But let’s face it, there is nothing special about such a distance: you do not need any support, water or anything else! In addition, as the place is most of the time pretty packed, you have to pay for parking and other extra.

And as dating 19 years-old girls, you are doing several of them regularly. But let’s think about it: when adding up the prices of all these events, it makes the cost per mile pretty expensive, especially for something you usually do in the morning before breakfast.

Do not be stupid, sign up for a long distance run, the one when you will mean support, port-o-potty, water stops and snacks on the course.

 

Everybody want to go be part of it

As dating a 19 years-old girl, short-distance races are easy and give you a shot of adrenaline so that everybody want to be part of it. You end up by having too many competitors that try to battle to get the prize. But it does not really matter: it will not last and you will have to do it again soon.

Do not be stupid, sign up for a nice trail race, enjoy a wonderful course in the nature with friends!

5ksheeps
“Hello, I have to go to the finish line”

They all look the same

As 19-years old girls, short-distance race all look the same. There is no attraction to do them! In fact, this is a side effect of being short and quick: you do not have the time to experience something special and/or go to unusual places! It usually starts and ends in a big area: in between, you have 3 miles that gives you the opportunity to share out and try to get some space.

Do not be stupid, go for a long trail. Enjoy the nature, the difficult of running hills and experience nice views!

 

Pre-5K meal - carb-load is the key!
Pre-5K meal – carb-load is the key!

 

To be attractive, they have to cheat!

As single 19 years-old girls, there are so many short-distance races that they have to have something special to be attractive. The color run, the ice cream race, any obstacle race, <insert-your-theme-here>: there is also a list of them. But there is nothing better than being naturally attractive!

Do not be stupid, experience the beauty of nature and sign up for a good trail race in the country side that will show you areas you never see, even you live there since several years.

5khydration

 

This is a newbie thing

As dating 19-years old girls, short-distance runs are mostly a newbie thing. Sure, some experienced and smart runner might accidentally crash into these events. But this is in short-distance races that you will see people wearing hydration races packed with four bottles: two with water and two with gatorade. This is in short-distance races that you will see folks eating more than what you take as your regular daily food intake as their post-race meal. And this is the same folks that will complain during all the post-race festival about this knee/hamstring/foot injury they developed during this great 30 minutes endeavor. It does not matter if you just want to enjoy some time with your friend, they cannot stop talking about it and put their frustration and stress on you.

Do not be stupid, go for a trail race, packed with nice folks that offers a friendly post-race barbecue with local beer! Sharing a good meal with other runners is just priceless!

 

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Why running short-distance is as exciting as dating a 19 year-old girl

One thought on “Why running short-distance is as exciting as dating a 19 year-old girl

  1. Love the farting pic, so true!!!
    I have to politely disagree with you on 5k’s.. I believe you can use the 5k to build speed for the longer races. A person I talk to a lot has dropped crazy time in his marathon by focusing on a faster 5k. I have taken on his method and it seems to work. I do agree though go for the longer race. Crossing the finish line is so much more rewarding

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