Last months have been the opportunity to take the time to step back and try to have an objective point of view on how things are going. Being critical with our inner self is hard: you are judge and party, torn between these two conflicting roles. But this helps you to move forward: we are all wondering if we are doing the right choices and what would have happened if we have done something different. What if we had listened to our parents, continue to study and got this diploma degree instead of getting a shitty job just after high school? What if I finally take this job oversea and left all what I built so far? And what would be my life if I had the gut to make the first move with this girl I always loved? One day or another, such questions come into our mind.
Less than 10 years ago, when I was 25, I realized my life will come to an end one day and then, defined what I really want to achieve. What and how I wanted to be. At that time, my life did not look like it is today – it was the total opposite of what I am today. This was time for change. Today, several of these goals have been met and some are still pending. Among them, one of them was moving and working in the USA. Another one was to develop the capability to explore, visit different countries, meet people and discover new cultures. This goal requires to be able to travel but also fulfill my own needs. Another one was to adopt a healthier and sustainable lifestyle.
For sure, I have not met all my goals but after a few years, I met most of them. Also, as years will pass by, new ideas and challenges will come. I do not know what the future is made of but so far, during this journey, few rules helped me to reach these goals. I wanted to share them, I thought it could be useful. This list is the one that worked for me and there is no proof it would work for you as well.
- Know your friends: A friend is somebody that will be there for you no matter what. Keep in mind that you do not know who are your friends until you have a really bad time. Everybody will be there during the party – very fews (and maybe nobody) will be there when you will be a mess. Think about who actually knows and cares about you? Probably not so much. Know your friends but do not blame others that claim to be your friends: if they lie to you, this is their business, not yours. They might be fun, good acquaintance to hang out for a night. But you cannot trust them.
- Believe in yourself, not others: We often try to take others responsible for our own failures. When doing this, we are just escaping reality and being irresponsible. Take back your life, your responsibility. Believe in and trust yourself. Take responsibility when you fail and pride when you succeed. Embrace the failure: success comes after a number of bad experiences that finally help you to become better and eventually reach your goal.
- Spread the love: do not waste your time and energy on blaming people and create negative energy. For any reason, if somebody was mean or unfair with you, this is their problem, not yours. They might have an issue, had a bad day or just think you are an idiot: the list of reasons to hate somebody is endless. Again, this is not your business, do not focus on blaming others, invest your time with people you love, motivate and elevate you. Your time on this planet is limited, you cannot afford to waste your time with such people. Which will let me introduce to the last point
- Invest your resources strategically: whatever it is – money, time, energy – invest wisely. Avoid wasting resources and try to spend it efficiently. Read (a lot), study, learn from people that inspired you or have successfully reach similar goals as yours. Your resources are limited, so, avoid useless spending and invest wisely. For example, stop wasting your evening browsing on facebook when you can read a book and learn new skills or cultures. Avoid buying a ton of stuff you’ll end up to throw it in the garbage when you’ll move in a few months: you will waste (1) money on it (2) time to throw it in the garbage and (3) resources that were used to produce it. Think twice about your impact before investing anything.
- Embrace change: no matter who you are and where you are from, change (good or bad) will happen. There is nothing you can do about it. And this is pointless to even try to revert it. You might lose your job tomorrow, your wife might ask for divorce or you can learn that one beloved family member suddenly died. Change can be hard to accept and can destroy your life. You can deny it for years and waste your time blaming whoever or whatever you take responsible for your lack of luck. But instead of fighting change, embrace it. Take it as an opportunity to have another point of view and change your own life.
Achieving your goals is not about being smart. It is about the ability of keeping up, even when people try to divert from them. Some people might claim they are your friends but they will disappear as soon you experience a hard time. Investors can tell you to put all your money in some stocks but you have to invest them wisely and stick to the fundamentals of the stock market. Some people might hate and disturb you, trying to divert you from your objective, you have to ignore them and keep your objectives in mind. As a runner, I often think that achieving goals is like a race: it is simple (you just have to move forward) but hard (long distance, elevation, etc). But this is definitively not about having a special ability or skill, just the capability to keep your objective in mind. I wish everybody to be happy and get whatever they expect from their life. If this list can help at least one person, then, the time required to write this post was definitively well invested.